AI Ain’t Funny: Testing Which AI Tells the Best Jokes

I’ve had this nagging impression: AI is good at many things, but not at telling jokes, being funny, or creating witty punchlines. Every time I ask an AI to be funny, I get dad jokes. Or should I say “dAId jokes”? ;-)

Then I read this article from The Athletic about ski jumpers. Let’s just say it was begging for a punchline, meme, or literally any kind of reaction.

The story? Ski jumping’s latest “marginal gains” rumor: athletes may be injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises—not for vanity, but to “measure bigger,” get looser suits, and catch more air like a sail. No one’s named, but WADA says it’ll investigate if evidence appears.

Instantly, several punchlines and retorts came to mind in my native tongue. They were witty, if I do say so myself :-D

But then I wondered: how would AI handle this? I’d been suspecting AI wasn’t funny, and I wanted to test that theory once and for all. This article was perfect—easy material for anyone with a sense of humor.

The Experiment

I asked several AI providers to create funny punchlines, taglines, and retorts. The goal was simple: compare them and subjectively decide which one was actually funny—and which one won the dAId jokes competition.

Here’s the prompt I used:

Here’s the article: https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7024688/2026/02/05/ski-jump-penis-enhancement-wada/ Read it carefully. Prepare 3 witty punchlines (up to 200 characters) I can use to create a meme for that article.

The Results

Gemini

When they said ‘every inch counts’ in the Winter Olympics, I don’t think this is what they meant.

Forget the V-style—apparently, the new way to get more lift is the ‘D-style.’

WADA: ‘Is it doping?’ FIS: ‘It’s a sail.’ The rest of us: ‘It’s a bit much for 5 extra meters.’

ChatGPT

When they said ‘go big or go home,’ ski jumpers took it personally.

WADA checking ski jumping… now scanning everything FROM THE GROUND UP.

Olympics 2026: Breaking records and bending… rules?

Claude

WADA investigating ‘Penisgate.’ No hard evidence yet, but officials promise to rise to the occasion.

Scientists confirm every centimeter counts. Ski jumpers taking notes. Norway already caught ‘adjusting’ their suits.

Athletes willing to inject acid into their junk for 2.8 extra meters of flight. That’s Olympic-level commitment, folks.

Neon

When you said “enhance your performance,” I didn’t think you meant at the tailor. Ski jumpers: redefining suit measurements, one bulge at a time.

WADA officials: “We’ll investigate.” Also WADA officials: Googling ‘can you really ski jump with that?’

Other sports: blood doping. Ski jumpers: bulge doping. Aerodynamics just got a lot more… interesting.

Perplexity

When the ski jump goes from gravity to groin-gravity in one leap.

Took off like a champ, landed like science class—strictly no physics allowed.

Peak performance, zero chill: physics says “drop” and so does the ground.

My Subjective Ranking

1. Claude, option 1 - “Penisgate” with the “rise to the occasion” pun? Chef’s kiss.
2. Claude, option 2 - The Norway callback was specific and landed well.
3. Neon, option 3 - “Bulge doping” is genuinely clever.

What I Learned

Here’s the thing: AI isn’t terrible at humor. But it’s safe. Too safe.

The best human jokes walk a line. They’re specific. They reference real things. They take risks. AI models are trained to be helpful and harmless, which means they naturally pull their punches.

Notice how Claude’s responses were edgier than the others? Interesting. But even then, they felt calculated. Like someone trying to be funny rather than actually being funny.

The dAId joke theory holds up.

---

Which one made you laugh? Or better yet—what punchline would you have written? I’d love to hear what you came up with.