Not Good at It? Or Just Not Honest About It?

“I’m not good at sports. Languages. Mathematics. You name it.”

When I hear myself—or someone else—say those words, I get a glitch.

Is this true? Is this something I actually believe? Or is this just an excuse I tell myself?

The Real Question

Is this really about not being good at something? Or is it about not being honest with myself?

Am I too afraid to admit I haven’t thought it through? Too scared to say I have other priorities right now?

The Trick We Play on Ourselves

It’s hard for me to believe I can’t reach a decent level at anything.

So instead of admitting this to myself, I pull a trick. I figure out yet another plausible explanation. I construct a narrative that sounds reasonable but dodges the real issue.

“I’m not good at languages” sounds better than “I haven’t prioritized learning a language.”

“I’m just not a math person” feels safer than “I chose to focus my energy elsewhere.”

Why Honesty Matters

Facing reality—acknowledging where we actually are—is the first step toward change.

Without honesty, it’s hard to even start.

When I say “I’m not good at this,” I’m closing a door. I’m telling myself the story’s already written.

But when I say “I haven’t prioritized this,” I’m acknowledging a choice. And choices can always change.

What I Learned

The language we use with ourselves matters.

“Not good at it” suggests something fixed. Permanent. Beyond our control.

“Haven’t prioritized it” acknowledges agency. It admits we’re making trade-offs, whether we realize it or not.

Both might describe the same current reality. But only one leaves room for change.

What about you? Is there something you tell yourself you’re “not good at”? What happens when you reframe it as a choice about priorities instead?